Slicing Bread

Uniformity defines a good slice of bread. Knots, whorls, and grades hallmark the rough ware of swarthy, unkempt bakers of ages past. Industrial bread slicers now produce pristine planes for industrial chefs, but what of the small commercial kitchen or home? Are prosumers relegated to the dark days of irregular bread? No! Stop wrestling with that awful “bread knife” (seriously, whoever decided to serrate a turkey calfer and call it a “bread knife” should be deboned) and invest a few measly dollars in a handheld multislicer–the best invention since sliced bread!

Simply place a freshly-baked loaf on a moistened cutting board, allowing the bread to cool until it no longer readily yields to a poke. Grasp the multislicer tightly in your dominant hand and mash it firmly into the loaf.

Using The Handheld MultislicerPress down straight and hard, avoiding the temptation to saw. It’s not a saw. It’s a handheld multislicer. If mashed firmly with consistent pressure, you’ll feel a quick succession of light pops as the multislicer pushes through the top and bottom crusts, leaving four perfect slices of bread in its wake.

Sliced Bread

For more than four slices, simply repeat. Easy. Now please go buy a handheld multislicer and discard that awful serrated blade with which you’ve been marring your bread.

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One Response to Slicing Bread

  1. Linda says:

    Thought I could find just about anything online, but not your clever bread slicer!
    Do you have any sources to recommend for a slicer like yours?
    Thanks. Linda

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